July 24, 2016

When I was two, my mother broke my arm because I couldn't stop crying.

Part One -- suffering in
My mother had dreamed of having children, but she struggled with rage.  Looking back now, I know she was horrified and ashamed by what she had done.

To my mother, evil was...

July 22, 2016

Some people are better at empathy than compassion, so they tend to focus on themselves when they encounter distress. There are two ways to respond to suffering: 

  • Compassion is tied to the present moment.  A compassionate person resonates with the distress in front o...

July 8, 2016

It's easy to forget that every time we focus on something we are not focusing on something else.  Here is an article from 2013 about the Boston Marathon Bombings...  It's the answer to a Quora question about how to comfort people affected by a mass murder. In light of...

July 6, 2016

I have some advice that may sound counter-intuitive, but it's the fastest and surest way I can think of to get to the heart of the heart.

Start with self-pity.


Maybe, like me, you have little patience for the whiny, comparing little bugger who sits in the corner of y...

July 4, 2016

Like so many things, the purpose of forgiveness is not the end of the process. The purpose of dance is not to finish dancing.  The purpose of a vacation is not the plane ride home.  The purpose of forgiveness is to transform pain into insight, and suffering into depth....

July 4, 2016

Forgiveness is not a single event.  It's a life saving strategy that you'll visit over and over on your journey. 

Oprah Winfrey, a fellow survivor, describes how one day, as an adult, she found herself in the kitchen making pancakes for a visiting relative - the on...

July 2, 2016

It is a common misconception that addiction is a choice rather than a disease.   What is more accurate to say is that most diseases (including cancer and addiction) have a behavioral component - this is usually how people get exposed to a disease agent.  Take a morally...

July 2, 2016

What we refuse to own, we carry or bury or give to someone else.

A little letter to self:

Approach the light and discover your shadow follows and darkens. 

So, what to do? Ignore it?  Run faster?  The shadow grows and distorts.  Soon it is long enough to cast darkne...

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